Getting there...

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Originally uploaded by aurorin.

Yesterday, while eating sushi alone after gym (erm quite healthy la..), i suddenly realised that the wedding will be in 3 weeks time. Immediately my stomach felt like it's been hit by a cold stone mallet and i wanted to throw up. It was the exact same sort of feeling i had just before entering the exam hall of a maths paper. But that feeling gradually subside and by the time i talk to him on the phone, i was pretty ok again. Guess the pre-marriage jitters story is true then... though i didnt imagine that the 'pain' can be quite that acute and scary.

All the while i figured that there cant possibly be that much changes to our lives once we get married officially. At least not in the outward sense.. but since yesterday, the potential internal changes seems too tangible and too overwhelming all of a sudden. Though i was calmer by the end of the night, there is this nagging feeling which is hard to put a word to that continues to linger at the back of my mind.

Today at work, i flip open my online wedding album and viewed our photos again. Somehow... it helped tremendously in brushing away the lingering feelings from last night. I dont know why. Perhaps its how the photos managed to capture our happy moments and everything was so familiar that it did not seems foreign to me. It was a comforting, secure feeling that felt, not so much like i'm falling in love again, but reminding me of the times i am IN love and BEING loved by this special person.

This feeling is not the heady passionate kind but it is a very powerful feeling that seems to rock your own sense of being yet nothing quite moved inside. I cant really describe it well but i know that at least wilk would understand it. Sort of like how nothing in our wedding album would make sense to others but those photos are probably the most frank and private images that means so much to the two of us.

Fireworks

Was going to walk to city hall to catch the fireworks last night but somehow wasn't feeling quite up to it with the crowd that would be around fullerton area. In the end made up our minds to drive home from our studio. Must be fate. The usual turning towards home happened to just get blocked by the police, probably because of the mobile column going that way and we had to turn towards town instead.

Decided to try our luck going up shears bridge to see if we could go towards marina south and park somewhere to view the fireworks. It was around 7.35pm then. Turned out to be a great decision because we were stuck in a traffic jam going up shears bridge and by the time we got to the top, it was around 8pm and we found tons of cars stopping by the side of the bridge, right ontop of the river mouth at the marina bay area. Traffic policemen were around of course but they weren't really shooing people away.

So when the fireworks started, I was sitting out on my car window, having fireworks to the left and right of me at both ends of the bay, cheering with the rest of the drivers who had all stepped out of their cars. Having fireworks exploding just above you. Very cool, that. Right timing, right place, right moment. Once the fireworks were over, the traffic police just waved us off and it was a nice smooth ride home as i turned out of prince edward road and drove back to the east via kallang before the rest of the crowd around the Padang dispersed.

What a great way to end the evening.